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“your way’s nice, my way’s quicker”

January 24, 2008

I miss college. Not, of course, classes or any of that nonsense. Don’t get me wrong, i did love that part of college most of the time i was there, but i do not miss it. I miss the social part. I miss it being easy to meet people. Moreover, i miss it being easy to meet awesome people, people with whom i related well. I miss living within a 5 minute walk of the majority of my friends.

The “real world” doesn’t work the same way, far as i can tell. In the real world, most people have been there for a while – they already have a posse, and they aren’t actively looking for people to meet. This is not to say that people are rude or anything, just that they are not as wide open to anyone new as people often were in college. In the real world people have schedules and families and time constraints. Which is odd, because most of us did quite a bit of work in college – we really were similarly busy. But the culture is different. In the real world you have to make arrangements. As compared to knocking on your buddy’s dorm door and just sitting down and hanging out (or going “oh, you’re busy” and moving on).

So, how the hell do you meet people out here? This is partly related to Essin’ Em’s question about how the hell you meet a woman(etc.) Because i am totally looking for sex. But i am also still trying to figure out how to make friends.

Which is not to say that i don’t have friends – i do have a circle, but it is still fairly loose. I’ve found great people that i like and have fun with, but i haven’t really found people i click with. Or maybe i just haven’t had time to click with the people i do know? I’ll hold that as a possibility, but it’s always been so obvious in the past.

Also, Jake has been trying to give me advice on picking up women. This is something she is very good at, so maybe it’s good advice. But she is outgoing and charming, whereas i am afraid of people, so her advice tends to amount to near-impossible for me. These conversations usually make my grumpy, because i do not like it when people tell me that what i am failing to do is easy.

Lady Brett
“Flowers and Liquor” – Hayes Carll

2 Comments leave one →
  1. linaria permalink
    January 26, 2008 2:39 pm

    This is something I’ve been wondering for awhile. Recently most of my close friends have moved to other parts of the country, and I’m left missing them and wondering what to do with my (precious little) free time.

    I’ve made some friends through work, but it’s still not as easy as “school friends” and comes with more constraints and possible complications.

    And, for the record, I’m outgoing and charming also, and I’m still finding it difficult.

  2. January 29, 2008 9:35 pm

    I agree – I miss having the group of friends you were close to because you shared groups, or a major, or a theatre production, or a hall first year, and everyone lived in walking distance, so it was easy to hang out.

    My friends in the real world are all flaky. And it’s hard to meet new ones. People say volunteer, join groups, etc. I go to grad school full time, work full time, have physical therapy, have an internship, and ref roller derby. I’m not sure when I’m supposed to have time to join a bunch of new groups to go meet people.

    I miss deep late night conversations, at school or diners. I miss being able to rely on almost anyone to hang out at any given point.

    I live alone, more than 30 minutes from anyone I know. I work from home 4 days a week. Slowly, but surely, I am becoming a hermit. And I’m an extremely extroverted person

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