I’d like to plug Freedomgirl’s recent post. She touched on something i think about a lot, but don’t think i’ve written about: sexual choice. The terms she used are “sexual preference” vs. “sexual orientation,” which i think is a really important distinction for all the reasons she said. Basically using the term orientation implicitly makes the “i can’t help it!” argument for why gay (or whatever else) is ok. Even if it’s true, this sucks for two reasons. One, it is blatantly heterosexist by implying that if you could help it, you would. Which is probably true for some people, but is still heterosexist and has a negative long-term impact on the acceptance of different sexualities. Two, it completely erases the aspect of choice from sex.
No matter what my sexual tendencies, i can make choices about what i do and don’t do. I can decide not to have sex that i really want because, say, i know it’s a bad idea. In fact, that is the argument that is used by the anti-gay movement to undermine the orientation model: even if you want to fuck girls, you could choose to fuck boys because it’s “the right thing to do.” And the thing is, yes, i could! But this is where choice comes in: maybe i choose to align my actions with my orientation so i won’t be miserable. That is a choice. And a fucking valid, good, smart one!
That is the argument we need to be responding with: my orientation doesn’t matter, what matters is that i have the right to make my own sexual choices. Fucking valid, good, smart ones.
Also, i think preference and orientation are referring to two different things; they are not just different ways of referring to one thing (who we fuck). For some people, they happen to completely overlap, but for others it may be more complicated.
My emphasis on preference and choice is not meant to invalidate the idea of orientation (only to invalidate its political importance). I think people are very much oriented to be sexually attracted to certain things. I know dykes who have never felt an attraction towards a guy. I’m not that way at all, but i certainly believe them; after all, i’ve never been attracted to a blond in my life. But, whatever your orientation, you can make choices based on your sexual preferences.
I suppose one of the reasons i feel strongly about this, politics aside, is personal validation. The orientation argument feels really invalidating to me. If what it says is “i can’t help it” the implied follow up – to me – is, “but what the fuck are you doing here?” This essentialism has been used in really negative ways by the lesbian (and, surely, gay) community. It seems like the mindset that has spurred such disdain for bisexuality: “greedy” and “indecisive” come to mind. I think it’s this orientation mindset that makes people automatically assume that i was repressed and closeted for years before i came out. But, see, i wasn’t. I understand that that is common, but some people just are not concretely oriented, so “closet” and “coming out” and even “gay” as they relate to orientation don’t apply so well.
And, one more thing. Related to the above, this respecting people’s sexual choices and preferences thing is directed just as much at “us” as at “them”. Obviously, i want people to respect that i am in love with a girl (equally valid whether the choice part came in the “falling in love” or in the “acting on it” part). That’s the “them” part; i want people who don’t accept that to do so. But i also want “us” to accept the other choices that people make; our “alternativeness” does not make our judgement any less ugly than mainstream judgement.
And, it’s been my experience that we have a hell of a lot of judgement (ahem: ”she’s too butch to be straight,” “she’s gay, she just doesn’t know it yet.”) And, i’ve been bitching at people about those for a long time, but here’s one that was hard for me to wrap my head around: if i value the examples i’ve given here, if choice is really that important, then it is just as valid for someone to chose to act in a way that opposes their orientation as a way that aligns with it.
Lady Brett
"Whole Lotta Love" - Led Zeppelin
It’s for real. It’s stellar. You really want to go look.
I was thinking that maybe i would repost my favorites on the list here. I think reposting half the list would be a bit inconsiderate and unproductive, so i’ll simply point out Mary Gauthier, my personal celebrity crush (and nomination):
You really need to check out her music to fully understand.
I’d also like to point out the preponderence of musicians! I think that is brilliant, and ought to keep me busy for some time.
Thanks Sinclair! (and a jillion other folks who helped out and nominated folks, of course – that was fun.)
Lady Brett
"It's Your Thing" - The Isley Brothers
Um. Hi. Remember me? Sorry about that, i’ve been feeling antisocial and it spilled over a bit. Let’s see if maybe i can play some catch-up.
I’ve been listening to her cd since yesterday; it’s really quite nice. Except now i’m listening to Sinclair’s version.
I’ve felt a bit like this.
Joy!
She said my crazy is just sprinkles on top.
I can only assume she was thinking of this. But she's awfully sweet anyhow.
And, on the bright and bizarre side i give you: one, two and three.
In honor of Jamie will be going back to school soon.
r.i.p. Sigh. Perhaps i really will get my Kim Perrott jersey framed.
Lady Brett
"You You You You You" - The 6ths (feat. Kathryn Whelan)
So, i just got wind of this:
This upcoming Disney movie is making waves for two reasons: the Princess in question is black and it is hand-drawn.
Regarding the second, first for its simplicity, hell fucking yeah! Did you catch that: hand-drawn? Not computers, and, from what they’ve released so far, it’s gorgeous. You can see some of the images here, though the text isn’t that great.
Regarding the first, there is a lot of sensationalist bullshit on both (all?) sides of the discussion. So, go read this. I couldn’t say it better. That is, the personal parts don’t apply to me, but are well written and reasoned, and the theory parts are spot-on, i think.
I do have one…not divergent, but…additional opinion on the subject of race and racism. While Disney may do better or worse, there is no way for it to make a non-racist portrayal of race. Do not translate that as “Disney is a hopeless case!”
Any portrayal of race – particularly in mass-media – in a racist culture, will be racist. (I’m going to pretend that we all agree that we do live in a racist culture for the sake of expediency. But if you want to go, let’s go. Just, this isn’t the time.) This follows directly from the idea that the audience imparts its own experience on any piece of art. If race is a part of my everyday life, then everything i see having to do with race will be interpreted based on my experience with race, be that the Civil Rights movement, that black guy next door, affirmative action, or some of my black best friends (or, obviously, other ethnicities as well).
A semi-hypothetical example from “The Princess and the Frog”: one of the subjects that has come under fire is that the prince in question is white (Latino, it seems, but white nonetheless). So, what the fuck, all the white princesses got same-race princes (unless we’re counting mermaids as a race, but she even ended up – anyway…) Would it be so hard to show two black protagonists in one movie? Or give the little black boys some kind of Disney model? Or perhaps this reeks of eroticizing black women at the expense of both the women themselves and the black men who are being completely ignored (or trampled out of the picture)? Those are the first few arguments that came to mind.
So, it should be a black prince! What if he were? Would that make it an “ethnic” picture, negating the value of “mainstreaming” a black Disney heroine and doubling the weight of every other racial blunder in the movie? Are we saying that the black princess can’t have the same (white) Prince Charming the white princesses get?
This could go with most of the things. Is ____ “too black” (stereotyping!) or “not black enough” (anglicizing!)?
I am not saying that there is never a better choice simply because there is never a non-racist choice. As such, i am not saying that criticism (such as the above dichotomy) is overreaction or unnecessary. This is not fatalism. The more these issues are discussed, dissected, even simply noticed, the smaller they get.
That is the reason that, while we don’t know exactly what Disney is going to give us, we know it’s not going to be Dumbo’s “Jim Crow”.
But it would be stupid(ly white) to pretend that is all it takes to not be racist.
Lady Brett
"Princess Of Power" - Two Nice Girls
best birthday cake ever!
portobello burgers!
P.S. the drink that you can’t really see in that picture is the lovely mojito recipe grrlchef shared with me over at Sublimefemme’s (or, at least the best i could do with the materials on hand).
Lady Brett
"I Only Want To Be With You" - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Kitchen
No southern kitchen is complete without a (couple) cast iron skillet(s). And all kitchens ought to be southern kitchens. I imagine you can buy these new somewhere, but i can’t imagine why you would. There’s cast iron cookware at every flea market i’ve ever been to. I got mine from my folks, who can’t use them on their fancy new flat-top stove – something about scratching it, i think. I have a small and a large one with wooden handles. I dig the handles just because they look a little different from most.
When you get a new iron skillet the first thing you want to do is season it. Well, the first thing is probably wash it, but. Seasoning cast iron is basically a way to make it into a “non-stick” surface, keep it from rusting, and of course make your food taste awesomer.
All you have to do is rub oil on the entire inside surface of the pan (i’ve heard lard or bacon grease are better for this, but i don’t tend to have either of those around). Put the pan in a 250-degree oven for a few hours – this will get the oil really soaked in. Or, if your oven has a pilot light, you can just leave the pan in there overnight or so without turnign the oven on at all. If, when the pan heats up, there is standing grease in it, dump that out and let it finish seasoning with just a layer on it – no puddles.
Caring for cast iron is fairly simple. Do not use soap or scouring pads to clean it! That will ruin the seasoning. No, it’s really not gross to clean it without soap – the whole point of cast iron is that it gets nice and evenly hot – and hot kills the things you’d be worried about. And, no it’s really not impossible to clean it without a scouring pad. Most importantly, just clean it immediately after using it – preferably while it’s still a bit hot. That way most things will just come right off. If that doesn’t work, you can scrape it out with a spatula – remember, it’s iron, you’re not going to scratch it!
And, last, if you’re like me you’ll forget to clean it sometimes and let it get to a point where you have to break the rules above. That’s okay, just make sure you re-season it – cleaning it that way doesn’t hurt the pan, but it ruins the seasoning (and in the long run, an unseasoned pan will rust – and make your food metalic).
Cooking
Pork Chops
I don’t have a name for these – it’s the only way i’ve ever cooked chops, the way my dad always made them and the only good pork chops i’ve had (coming from a near-vegetarian, my comparisons are limited).
2 pork chops – from the local, natural butcher at the farmer’s market.
1 onion – sliced into rings
1 small can pineapple – i prefer rings. i also always buy a big can so i can eat the rest while i cook.
1 small cup orange juice – i use those little metal juice cans because i like the unsweetened oj
salt/pepper to taste
In a well-seasoned pan (or with a small amount of oil) over medium heat sear the pork chops on both sides. Pour in the orange juice (and some pineapple juice if you like), and top with the onion and pineapple rings. Turn down the heat to medium-low, cover and simmer ’till the pork chops are cooked through. Usually this about equates to when the onions are almost translucent.
Serve with a little of the sauce/juice and topped with the onion and pineapple. The onion is pretty tasty, but the pineapple is mostly for show at this point. I actually made this this week with pears instead of pineapple due to what we had laying around and not wanting to go to the store. It was quite good, but i still prefer the recipe. For expedient and cheap follow-up meals, i like to use the leftover juice for a light but flavorful sauce on egg noodles.
Cornbread
2 tbsp butter
1 cup flour
3/4 cup cornmeal/flour
2-3 tbsp sugar
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1 cup milk
1/4 cup oil
2 eggs
The secret to making the best cornbread on earth is corn flour. I got it at the asian/indian grogery. I make the 3/4 cup about half and half between corn meal and corn flour. It keeps the flavor much the same, but makes it a bit less gritty.
Preheat oven to 400. Put the butter in the cast iron skillet (or a pan) and keep it in the oven while it heats. Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl. Beat the eggs, and mix the milk and oil in. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir until just mixed – don’t overdo it. Pour in pan and cook for 15 minutes – or until whatever you stick in it comes out clean.
So, those are two of my favorite southern iron skillet recipes. I made both this week; we had them with fantastic beans. The only thing missing was fried sweet potato. But that’s easy – cube, fry in oil ’till cooked, maybe a little salt and pepper. They’ll burn a bit on the outside. I think sweet potato is the perfect food.
Lady Brett
I’ve been lacking the time to write anything thoughtful – marriage has been on my mind in a number of forms. Hi California.
I’ve been lacking the inclination to write things not thoughtful. I’ve been kind of stressed, but in a personal way that feels awkward and uncomfortable to write about now.
I don’t deal well with being busy. Free time is my sustenance. The reason – the main reason – i never took driver’s ed in high school was because i knew that i would stop doing my homework to make up for the hole it would put in my sitting-on-my-ass time. Because i’d be damned if i was just going to give that up for something as stupid as, well, anything, really.
I’m also sort of restless, though. I can’t just chill out if there are things that i know need doing. So it just makes me crazy instead – either nagging myself to death, or not getting any downtime. It makes me tired and kind of bitter. And being anything like angry makes me really not like me much.
I feel rather better today. But i don’t think falling asleep on accident – didn’t feed the dogs, put them up, lock the door, turn off lights, put away dinner; nothing – and sleeping for 12 hours is the best way to go about that.
The moral of the story – and i’m skipping all the explanation part that might make this make sense. sorry. – is:
i hate working full time and i go a little bit bonkers without a constant supply of physical contact.
So, here’s to working on that sanity thing. Cheers.
And happy birthday to me. I may hang out with a few friends tomorrow, but i really don’t want a party this time. But for Sunday, my actual birthday, it’s just me and Jamie. There are vague plans involving kicking her brother out (oh, yes, we have a freeloading roommate now, but he’s cool), my new dress, a new article of hers. More on that later.
Lady Brett
"Long Ride Home" - Patty Griffin
Book Review.
I’m no expert. Hell, i’m not even an amateur in the original sense. If you want a list of good books to learn to mix drinks from, this is not really it.
I am inclined to think that you could tell a fair bit about me from my book collection. So, my books on the subject of drinking are: 1000 Drinks! (or some such), Cocktails for Dummies: Pocket Edition (what? it was a dollar. Handy, too, when one hasn’t the patience for 1000 damn drinks.), the Esquire Handbook for Hosts and Crosby Gaige’s Cocktail Guide and Ladies’ Companion (come to think of it, that was a dollar too).
It is the latter this is about. Frankly, i bought it at the annual library booksale without even opening it. Can you blame me?
Crosby Gaige’s Cocktail Guide and Ladies’ Companion:
I thought not.
It is the most rediculous and fantastic piece of writing i’ve ever owned – or read, for that matter.
My copy is as of the seventh printing (1949), and i do not think there is a better way to describe this book than to copy the title page:
Crosby Gaige’s
Cocktail Guide
and
Ladies’ Companion
Richly Embellished with Drawings
Almost from Life
by
REA IRVIN
With a Foreward in Golden Prose
by
LUCIUS BEEBE
and
A Recessional or Final Insult
Hurled at the Reader
by
LAWTON MACKALL
Published for Hussies and Homebodies
by
M. BARROWS AND COMPANY
incorporated
At the FIRESIDE PRESS
NEW YORK
1949
In a lighthearted mood the book is a fantastic (read: rediculous) read. Fortunately it is only about 1/3 actual writing. Even in a lighthearted mood more than that might weigh on one. Past that, i truly appreciate the recipes. It has a few food recipies for entertainig, none of which i’ve tried. But i’ve looked through the drink recipes, and tried a number of the whiskey ones. Primarily i like to have an “authentic” source for old fashioned drinks. It is far more interesting – and discerning – than my generic thousand drinks book.
Frankly, i’m smitten with it’s ridiculousness.
On the down side, it’s largest segment is dedicated to gin drinks. That’s really a factor of the era, but it’s a shame for me that i like classic cocktails and can’t stand gin.
Lady Brett
P.S. a note from my dictionary: “hussie” is derived from “housewife.” Hussies and homebodies, indeed!
Kitchen
Not much to say here. I’ve already gone on about how cool my apron is (it’s spiderman!), though i suppose i could take advantage of this to mention how cool these retro-style aprons are. I mean, really, i might give up bad-ass-little-kid-goofy for housewife-sexy-retro…goofy.
Regarding servingware, which was most of what else we used, we got it all at Savers at the last minute (and some nice stuff Jamie has).
Cooking
There was, of course, the jello mold. I got the recipe here. Thanks Google. It says jellied cranberry – i used whole, and, well, i think that’s part of the reason theirs is a lot prettier. Also, for the record, jello shots do not get sturdy enough to come out of their mold. Also also, and also for the record, having jello shots was so very not my idea.
Cucumber Sandwiches
Jamie has requested more of these, in normal-sandwich form. I thought they were pretty good too.
4 cucumbers (little pickling ones – i suppose you would need fewer if you used english…but why whould you do that?)
1 package cream cheese
dill. sorry, i didn’t measure. but, more than you think.
celery salt. didn’t measure that either, but less of it than the dill.
1 loaf Little Bread. Maybe it’s called cocktail bread? It’s super thin-sliced plain white bread. Jamie bought it, and i totally don’t know what it was.
Peel the cucumbers and slice very thin. Mix the cream cheese, dill and celery salt. Add dill and celery salt to taste (that’s what the bread butts are for – testing your recipe. Teenage assistants will be pleased.) Also, you want to mix the hell out of it, so that it gets kind more spreadable. Spread thin layers of cream cheese stuff onto two slices of bread. Layer the cucumber slices on one, and make it a sandwich. Trim off the crusts (to feed the chef, and for the pretty), and slice on both diagonals so that you get four pretty little triangles.
Sorry that was the least specific recipe ever.
Caprese Bites.
Loaf rye bread.
Grape tomatoes, cut in half.
Fresh mozzarella.
Fresh basil.
I used the smallest cutter in the biscuit-cutter set – the fluted ones, it made it super cute! – to cut (inch-and-a-half-ish) rounds out of the bread. Brush the breads with olive oil and toast them in the broiler. At this point i burned the hell out of about half of them, which i don’t recommend. Anyhow. Cut – or tear, fresh mozzarella tears very well – the cheese into pieces slightly smaller than the breads. I really wanted to get the teeny little balls of mozzarella, but couldn’t find any – i think that would look extra-professional. Layer the bread, then cheese, then small (or pieces of) basil leaves, and half a grape tomato.
I heard they were good. I suppose it’s a good sign that i didn’t actually get to try one.
Lady Brett
