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“your jamie is a rogue”

November 8, 2011

Okay, back to the questions i promised i would answer ages ago.

From alphafemme: “I vote for a wedding post! Who came, how were you supported/not by various family/friends… and pictures!!!”

Someday i will get to the pictures part.  Not today; i am sorry.  (And under password, but that is not truly to keep you out; you have only to ask.)

So many people came!  More than anything else, the people who were there and the love that encompassed was the defining feature of the wedding for me.  Getting married was the point, and that was quite nice, but it was a bit hard to focus on over the vast, insurmountable joy.  Honestly, my biggest fear going into the wedding and marriage was that i was going to cry during the ceremony.  It seemed reasonable, considering the number of times i cried while we concocted the ceremony.  And that crying in front of people is my primary personal taboo. Ha.  I was so bursting with joy it was impossible to think of anything else.  Every time i looked around i saw someone else; people who made my heart sing (and always have), and people whose presence there made my heart sing.

Specifically, my (immediate) family was there, as was Jamie’s (and some small part of her larger family).  Two of my favorite people in the world, and other friends from college, who i do not keep in the best touch with.  Co-workers.  The boys, one of whom is in every photo taken that day.  Friends.  And strangers – it was in a public park; there was a couple, girls, who sat down in the back corner for the whole thing; there were some kids that i didn’t realize were there, but who were caught on camera behind us; there was a couple who caught us leaving and congratulated us and wanted a photo with us.

Supported.  So much.  It is amazing to me, especially considering that i am not an asking for help kind of person.  I mean, i think i am fine at accepting help, and i don’t think i am terribly independent – but that is entirely different.  I still feel like i don’t entirely know where the wedding came from; it is like it appeared from half-formed (both physically and conceptually).  My dear friend Athena came in a couple of days early, demanded to know what needed to be done, and promptly sewed most of the decor.  My family (i think) mostly set up the reception space.  The balloons came from all our dear teenagers (as you know, the best source for quantities or air).  I am not entirely sure who set up the ceremony (i just learned that the Older Boy helped with that part – i suppose he forgave us for not making him best man).

Not supported.  Honestly, very little.  There were family who did not come.  But that was a given.  What was not a given was that every one of Jamie’s family who did not attend (and one of my two disapproving relatives) sent a sweet note with their declination, and most of them a gift.  Jamie’s grandmother may have told her mother that she couldn’t come because she felt it would be supporting our lifestyle, but she did not tell us that.  She sent a card saying she couldn’t make it and hoped that Jamie were happy.  And she sent me a birthday gift following.

Ultimately, the amount of support was amazing; one of the primary highlights of the wedding.  Admittedly, i excluded an entire side of my family from the whole thing, but i think the degree to which the responses were positive was amazing.  And that includes all of the people who do not fall into the category of family or friends.  People who saw us the day of, vendors that we talked to (granted, we generally led with “gay wedding!”, so some may have strategically ignored us), random people we talked to in shops, people were overwhelmingly excited because “wedding!”  I think we had been so thoroughly prepped to have to fight our way through the whole process that that was extra pleasant.

Lady Brett

"Peggy" - Clandestine
One Comment leave one →
  1. November 9, 2011 6:33 pm

    I love everything about this report. It sounds like the people around you made it a really nice day. Not that that’s required for it to be memorable, but it sure makes it nice.

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