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“this is your life, i get copied keys”

September 28, 2011

I have had a slight change of mind regarding legal marriage.

Mind, i still think it is nonsense. I still believe that no one should be allowed legal marriage. Legally speaking, there’s no reason they shouldn’t all be civil unions – and there’s no reason i shouldn’t be able to civil union my godmother, brother, best friend or wife, as it ought to be strictly a legal statement of shared responsibility regarding certain things like property.  (And, of course, there are way more important civil rights issues – even gay rights issues – than marriage equality.  But that’s not really a reason not to work on it.)

That said, we are now trying to figure out how to get our own versions of those legal statements, and it has changed my view a bit.  I still don’t view marriage as a civil right.  But restricting me from legal marriage does amount to a fine.

Were we straight and married, for $25 we could have the vast majority of the legal protections we would like (plus throw in a free name change – but only for the woman changing her last name to his).  Not true for everyone, but we are fairly simple and traditional, and it would certainly work for us.

Instead, we will need: 2 name changes, 2 wills, medical powers of attorney, financial powers of attorney, and to add her name to the house deed.  Off the top of my head – i have a list somewhere.  I intend to keep track of the particular costs as we go along – and the time investment, if possible. Right now all i know is that the name changes will be approximately $300, adding her name to the house deed qualifies as a taxable “gift” of half the worth of the house (but the mortgage is still mine, which could be problematic, since she would not be responsible for my debt), and most of the rest will require a lawyer.

Much of that is liable to apply if you are single (i’ve about hit an age where – relationship or no – i don’t want to saddle my parents with all this).  You may well want some of that if you are married.  Nevermind the various forms of non-married relationships.

I’m not terribly keen on getting legally married, but i’m not much liking the idea of being fined for being anything other than straight-and-married.

Oh well.  We’re buying each other new names for christmas. I’m kind of excited about that.

-Lady Brett

"Copied Keys" - Kathleen Edwards
One Comment leave one →
  1. October 11, 2011 9:28 pm

    I’ve been working for an attorney that does estate planning, which is exactly what you folks need, and it is, indeed, the disgustingly expensive way to get legally hitched in every way possible. Not being an attorney and all, and this whole subject of dying being strictly forbidden in my general conversations, I am beginning to see the merit of a living will that makes specific provisions for your medical care at the end of your life, whereas the medical power of attorney (it’s called declaration of health care surrogate in my state) is probably more geared toward making decisions for you when you are not in a life threatening situation but may not be able to speak for yourself. It’s confusing, but I think it’s worth looking into.

    This sounds like a $3000 job for an attorney. Yucko.

    P.S. I totally second the motion to be able to marry your best friend. If you do everything together anyway, what’s the point in having separate money? I’ve considered it with several people who have shared my life with me through some or another season and one day, I just might do it.

    Miss chatting with you. Maybe we should make an appointment with each other…

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