“i’ve had some time to think about you”
I’ve been lacking the time to write anything thoughtful – marriage has been on my mind in a number of forms. Hi California.
I’ve been lacking the inclination to write things not thoughtful. I’ve been kind of stressed, but in a personal way that feels awkward and uncomfortable to write about now.
I don’t deal well with being busy. Free time is my sustenance. The reason – the main reason – i never took driver’s ed in high school was because i knew that i would stop doing my homework to make up for the hole it would put in my sitting-on-my-ass time. Because i’d be damned if i was just going to give that up for something as stupid as, well, anything, really.
I’m also sort of restless, though. I can’t just chill out if there are things that i know need doing. So it just makes me crazy instead – either nagging myself to death, or not getting any downtime. It makes me tired and kind of bitter. And being anything like angry makes me really not like me much.
I feel rather better today. But i don’t think falling asleep on accident – didn’t feed the dogs, put them up, lock the door, turn off lights, put away dinner; nothing – and sleeping for 12 hours is the best way to go about that.
The moral of the story – and i’m skipping all the explanation part that might make this make sense. sorry. – is:
i hate working full time and i go a little bit bonkers without a constant supply of physical contact.
So, here’s to working on that sanity thing. Cheers.
And happy birthday to me. I may hang out with a few friends tomorrow, but i really don’t want a party this time. But for Sunday, my actual birthday, it’s just me and Jamie. There are vague plans involving kicking her brother out (oh, yes, we have a freeloading roommate now, but he’s cool), my new dress, a new article of hers. More on that later.
"Long Ride Home" - Patty Griffin