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“It’s such a feelin’ that my love i can’t hide”

June 10, 2008

I love PDA. I don’t just mean that i like kissing my girl in public – i do! – i love everyone’s PDA. I guess because i love people in love…or like, or lust. The girl with her hand in her boy’s back pocket (almost innocent). My favorite professor walking around campus holding hands with her husband of 30some years. The kids who make out in public because they actually don’t have a private place to do that. I was sent some stupid email forward (OMG! fugly!!1!), photos of this couple’s wedding. And, yeah, they were both terrible looking, but i really think everyone was missing the point ’cause they both had the biggest grins on their faces; it made me really happy.

Yes, i do have a soft spot for gay couples, ‘specially the girls. What can i say, dykes are my weakness.


naturally, we need a gratuitous cute dyke ass shot…i mean, hand-holding shot, here. thanks wikimedia!

Every discussion of gay public displays of affection has to address the fact that it’s a wonderful out, queer political activist thing. As an activist, progressive, political junkie i understand that. That is, it’s true, ’cause our world is still at the point where anything gay is a political statement of sorts. But, frankly, i have never in my life thought of it that way. Perhaps because i never jumped that hurdle; i was never on the “this isn’t socially accepted, so i’m uncomfortable doing it” side of the fence. It just never occurred to me to not hold my girlfriend’s hand when i wanted to.

The simplest reason being that i’m just too impulsive; there isn’t time between “want” and “do” to think and stop. I also have the warm fuzzies i mentioned above; i think it’s fantastic when other people do it, so i’ve got no “oh no, am i being a hypocrite?” barrier. I am also extremely thick-skinned…sometimes just oblivious. As long as i don’t feel physically threatened, i don’t give a rat’s ass what other people do or say. And i have never been in a situation where i felt unsafe because i’m gay. I don’t care if people stare – actually, i think it’s funny most of the time (holy sit, aliens!). Hell, i don’t care if people yell across the street “‘ey! Youse lesbians?!” Been there, done that (no, mister, she’s my sister!). That said, for the record, i am not a moron. There are places and situations where i just don’t hold hands, etc. Perhaps that avoidance is partly why i’ve never really felt unsafe, but i do have a high threshold for the non-threatening sort of harassment.

I also wonder if not coming out ’till i was a little bit older had something to do with it. That is, i’ve always been one for PDA. So i wonder if i just got used to it, or used to not thinking about it, back when no one really noticed. Or maybe i got used to people noticing back when it wasn’t relevant. Because i do platonic PDA, too. I had two friends in high school/college – a boy and girl – who i would hold hands with, or put my arm around. (The reactions to all three of us walking, arms around each other, were totally priceless.) What i mean is, because of that i got all the reactions of people thinking i was gay, or with this guy i wasn’t, or (good god!) with both of them. At the time it was really easy to not care what people thought because there wasn’t any truth to it. Generally (or is it just for me?), it’s only when people get close to the truth that their barbs hold any power. Of course, that sort of interaction with my friends would never have happened if i wasn’t already in the “eh, fuck what folks think” state of mind, so i would guess that it’s some combination of all these things (how typical – i always shoot for the middle ground).

We were somewhere, holding hands, and Jamie mentioned it, said she liked it. I, of course, said i liked it too, but in a kind of “well, yeah!” way. Oh, but her most recent ex was one of the not gay in public sorts (which falls into, to me, that funny sort of denial category, ’cause i’m pretty sure people can tell Jamie – and by association, her girl – is gay). So Jamie noticed, whereas i was just doing it, i think.

Lady Brett
“I Want To Hold Your Hand” – The Beatles

One Comment leave one →
  1. June 12, 2008 12:36 pm

    I also love pda, I can’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t feel the same way. Holding my girlfriend’s hand makes me feel safe and loved.

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