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“I want to shine for you, but i’m too shy”

February 4, 2008

I sort of just realized that i’ve been running from my confusion. I haven’t written about life in general at all since the new year…perhaps more accurately, i haven’t written about life in specific. There is, of course, politics-gone-wild to focus on at the moment, as a distraction (not to downplay it – i am an avowed politics addict, so i also write that because i love to). And i’ve been doing a lot of self-examination, which stems from being in a new place (not physically, but in all those other ways), and it’s funny, because writing about and exploring these things seems very…vulnerable, self-aware. Again, i don’t mean to downplay this either – it is good, and i’m glad i can really grasp some of these things now. But. It’s as if i’m delving into the core so as to avoid the surface layers. See, i don’t like to not understand things. And at the moment i’m having an easier time understanding the big things than the small ones.

Details to follow…it’s really nothing dramatic, i’m just baffled by myself. But for now, i must eat something other than coffee before i pass out, and do my job…stupid motivation keeps running off without telling me where it’s going or when it’ll be home!

Lady Brett
“Hummingbird” – Kris Delmhorst

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