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“but he don’t know that i’m your man”

December 23, 2007

As it turns out my bro’s computer plus wireless equals internet for me.

So, friday night A came over and we went to this xmas get together youth thing. I just love those kids (specifically, i love two of them, and the rest are just fine by me). Anyhow, we went home nad were sititng on my bed chatting. Partly, at least, about gender identity stuff – A elaborated a little bit on hir situation/stance, it was nice to open the subject up although nothing really got clarified past what i’d kind of figured. A’s really relieved and pleased that i (and other friends) am so okay with it.

a note on language: thank you Dylan for reminding me of hir and ze and such, which i have seen before, but which had slipped my mind. Nonetheless, the grammar bitch in my head flinches when i use such words…i’ll see what i can do. I was thinking this over, though; “it” just doesn’t cut it, and beyond that we haven’t option for gender-neutral pronouns. Thank goodness i don’t speak a romance language. I’d hate to be dealing with trans-issues in a language where all the words are gendered.

But i just wanted to share a little scene from my life. As background, A is staying on a mutual friend’s couch at the moment. And somehow (it’s always hard to remember how these inside jokes start) it has come to pass that A and her are “married”.

So, A and i are laying on my bed discussing gender issues. And then we’re making out. A gets a text that said buddy, who A is giving rides to work and back, just got off a little early. We sit up when hir phone goes off. A says she’ll be there in a minute. Then we’re kissing again – “it’s a damn shame you have to go.” A checks to see if someone else can pick her up, but no. And, somehow, we’re laying down again; and somehow we’re kissing, somehow A’s on top of me. Another text massage. Oops (yes, you really ought to go). A is not particularly keen on spilling the details of hir personal life (read: that we’re making out) to everyone, also she is kind of obligated to pick the girl up. “You’re not exactly making this easy,” she says as i kiss her again. “It’s not exactly like i’ve got you pinned down,” i grin – i can’t help myself – up at her. Apollogetically, “maybe you could say you got lost (it wouldn’t be the first time).” A suggests sticking with that we were hanging out – like maybe just “Brett had me all tied up.” …no, wait, not like that! I didn’t mention i’m more for the other way around…i don’t think we’re ther yet. The friend calls – A waffles, tells her she really is on her way out the door – will be there soon. Both of us are trying to stifle our laughter while she’s on the phone. Then, there i am, pressed against the doorframe. God i love that. But it was interestingly different this time – it wasn’t a power thing, not really, it was just kind of what happened ’cause she’s the boy and ’cause she’s taller. No less hot, mind. Anyhow, A gathers hir things (including a queer studies book i’m lending hir). I lean in for one last kiss. I break off. “Go pick up your wife.”

We almost collapsed laughing, once i realized what i’d just done.

How are the holidays? Pretty good, laid back. My Granny asked me (for the first time ever) if i have a boyfriend. I said no, Granny, i don’t. She wanted to know why not. I said i really wasn’t looking/ready for one right now. Well, to be fair, i don’t have, nor am i looking for, a girlfriend either. And if i did? Well, i’m fairly certain i wouldn’t have said so. I don’t know how i feel about that. Mostly, i feel that a) my relationships/sex life are of the most miniscule importance to my relationship with my grandparents who i see once a year and b) that i’m a big wuss/ wouldn’t even know where to start explaining that to her (in front of my parents and brother…who all know, and i kind of wonder what went through their heads when she asked me that).

Lady Brett
“I Know He’s Your Husband” – Bob Malone

2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 25, 2007 11:38 am

    I find that hir and ze are hard to use in writing and conversation as well. They don’t seem to flow as naturally as he and she, but that’s just because we’ve become very embedded in a binary society. Also, if you use them while speaking people just look at you very confused and wonder what the heck you are saying, or even out right ask, HE OR SHE?! what are you saying… haha. Fun.

    Glad you and A are having fun being make out buddies, though the interrupting phone calls sounds a bit lame, it’s good that A has that kind of loyalty and commitment in hir.

    Enjoy the holidays!

  2. December 25, 2007 6:08 pm

    Your package got returned! Will send again!

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