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“ride the horse in circles, goin’ up and comin’ down”

December 3, 2007

It’s been a long time since i’ve been so frustratedi wanted to cry.  Over an hour on hold, and, oh, no gas ’till thursday.  It’ll be funny when it’s over.

But that’s not the problem – that is quite far removed and unimportant to what roller-coastered my weekend from the friday high.  I went saturday evening to hang out with some friends – A (the gentleman i met a few weeks back) picked me up and we joined our friends, a couple.  One of the girls had to go to work, so it was the three of us ’till we were going to pick her up and go out.  Turns out that the couple was going through some major rough times.  The one we were talking with was just kind of shut out by her girlfriend.  We talked about it, i was filled in on some of the details, we talked about relationship problems in general – me and Jake’s breakup (that’s, i think, the first time i’ve shared any of the details about that), her last breakup and, of course, what she was going through now.  It just about broke my heart.  She just always seemed so strong, and it’s so much harder to see someone you admire and respect hurting than someone you just like a lot.

Things got really awkward and bizarre when the other half of this couple got off work and another girl, a friend of A’s, joined us.  What we’d been discussing was immediately clear – my friend (and, yes, they are both my friends, and i do like both of them, but i do feel a little closer to the one…and to differentiate for clarity) got hardly as much as a hello from her girlfriend.  On top of that, there is some suspicion as to what the hell is up with the girlfriend and A’s buddy.  If nothing else, they are talking it up while my friend hardly says a word.  And we are all trying to pretend everything is fine nd normal (and, i’m certain, doing a terrible job of it).  I go home lateish.  And get a text sometime in the late night/early morning that, indeed, something is up with the girlfriend and A’s friend (who is quickly moving off of A’s friend list).  I don’t know exactly what, and i don’t know what the fall out is or will be.

We had a meeting sunday night with a number of people, including this couple.  Now i’ve got no idea who knows what’s up and who doesn’t – and i only kind of know what’s up.  My friend looked terrible.  I think she was passing it off as tired (and i don’t think she’d slept much, so i guess it was kind of true).  The girlfriend seemed like she had no idea there was a problem.  She was totally chipper and talkative – and texting with (i’m almost positive) A’s buddy the whole time.  If i were the sort, i’d have wanted to slap her – shake her – “can you not see what you are doing? can you not see her heart breaking?  i mean, i can’t make anything change, and i don’t know entirely what’s going on, but could you have a little decency?  not rub salt in the wound?”

When we left i could tell she was on the verge of tears, and she’s just not the sort of person you’re supposed to see like that, it’s just killer.  And there’s nothing you could say with her girlfriend right there, so she just got an extra long hug.

Lady Brett
“Merry Go Round” – Mary Gauthier

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