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“Said the apple to the snake, yer erotic forks are fake”

August 7, 2007

So, i’ve been “tagged.” Which means i’m IT, so you fools had better watch out. So, i’m going to post the rules, because that’s rule 1.

1. we have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. people who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. at the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

And then you get 8 facts about me…because that’s rule 2. And then i’m going to ignore rules 3, 4, and 5 because my entire (vast) internet community has already done this.

1. I am a luddite. Some of you already knew this, but it is actually a big secret, because all through school my friends were all gamers and comp-sci kids. I am capable with computers because i’ve had them my whole life, and okay at programming (what little i’ve done) because it’s fun like logic games. The real secret is that i don’t actually give a shit about technology or how it works at all, so long as it does what i want okay. And, yes, it kind of scares me.

2. I was a complete tomboy as a kid (and, really, until fairly recently)

3. I love water, especially streams. But i’m afraid of rivers and oceans because of the undertow (and dark depths), and i’m afraid of not being able to see the bottom. I have come to tell people that it’s the Lake Monsters i’m afraid of, for lack of another explanation.

4. I am a grammar elitist, but i don’t consider myself part of the elite.

5. I came out when i was 20, when i started dating a girl, to a grand total of one surprised person (and a few who still don’t know). I didn’t come out sooner because it hadn’t really occurred to me…i thought everyone was attracted to girls too, and that it would be rash to jump to conclusions without some experience. Call me naive ;)

6. I like knowing how to do things. I like it more than being really good at them.

7. I started playing D&D with my bro when i was 7ish. I love it. I didn’t play again ’till my senior year of college because it took me that long to find people who played recreationally instead of seriously, and that only lasted the year.

8. I’ve always wanted to be more rash than i am.

by request, there is a bit more now (i’ll get that 100 eventually)…by theme! (first, inconsequential achievements)

9. in 5th grade my team got second place at regional Odessey of the Mind, by something like 5 points. It was the first year they only sent 1st place to state. But i’m not bitter.

10. My middle school chess team was third in the national chess tournament one year. I got half a point – out of 8. It was a fucking blast.

11. I was a card shark when i was 13. Except we didn’t play betting games. But i could beat anyone at speed or spades, and cut the deck in an even half.

12. I swam in a summer team all through my childhood. I sink…but with good form.

13. In middle school i got 3rd place in Greek mythology in the state Latin competition without studying.

14. I won the “Invention Convention” in 3rd grade, for a bird-cage cleaner that didn’t work.

15. I stopped achieving after middle school. Or else they stopped giving out ribbons. Or maybe i stopped because there were no ribbons to be had.

16. Oh, well, in college me and a buddy won the school drag show (of like 5 contestants). We did The Darkness, and my Goodwill fake-snakeskin pants ripped from crotch to knee.

oh, screw theme. At random:

17. I’m a terrible judge of age. (i now just have four designations: kids, my age, my parents’ age and old. It’s wholly subjective.)

18. My first CD was Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. I bought it with my own money (back when that was a big deal).

19. Ever since i saw Kenneth Branagh’s Much Ado About Nothing i’ve wanted to have a masked ball.

20. I’m terrible at keeping in touch with people i don’t live around.

21. I (think) i have read two works of fiction (White Teeth and Harry Potter 6) that weren’t re-reads since graduating from college.

22. I am trying to remember how to enjoy fiction.

23. I’m a WWI buff.

24. People make me nervous, so i tend to only enjoy social functions if there is alcohol (at least one drink).

25. One of my heroes is my 4th grade teacher. He might have been anyway, but this is especially because (and i heard about this long after the fact) he called my mother after school one day and told me that she was never to make me wear a dress to school again, because i hated it and was miserable all day. (He was gay…we look out for our own, little tomboys included ;).

26. I love reading Shakespeare almost as much as watching it.

27. I love Hemmingway (but i didn’t read him for years because his books always sent me into a brief bout of depression.) Also, you might have guessed this already.

28. I built a one room house a few years ago.

29. I’m turning into my father (see previous three…he and i built the house, actually).

30. I have a lip ring; it’s my only piercing.

31. I’m afraid of babies.

32. Also kittens kind of freak me out (cats are fine).

33. I turn into a stupid fool around puppies, though. Or dogs in general. Especially bully dogs.

34. I hate having a desk job.

35. I want a blue-collar job, but i don’t know where to start.

36. I’m afraid of needles

37. and roller coasters.

37. and scary movies (even stupid ones).

38. But when i was a kid i wasn’t afraid of anything. I watched all sorts of things that i thought were awesome and not scary at all, if a little gross, that i totally couldn’t watch now. Notably Alien and Seven.

39. I have trouble falling asleep alone.

40. Reading Ishmaelchanged my life, but i’m afraid to reread it because i don’t think it will be as impressive as it was in high school.

41. I seriously considered dropping out of college freshman year because of The Dharma Bums (which i was reading for class).

42. It would not have been possible to read Catcher in the Rye at a better time than i did. It didn’t make 10th grade suck less, but i think it did make being 15 suck less. And i didn’t lose any of my reverence for it upon rereading it and being less impressed.

43. I want to sail on a tall ship.

44. Rapier fighting with the SCA is more fun than fencing as a sport.

45. I did heavy fighting with the SCA at the very end of college, but then i moved. I’d keep doing it if it weren’t for time and money (and the bit where the SCA people who aren’t totally awesome are kind of irritating/creepy).

46. I miss the renaissance festival.

47. I have three swords, this, this and a mediocre Narsilreplica (not exactly those, but that’s more or less what they look like). It was sold as an Anduril, because it isn’t in shards, but they clearly don’t know what they are talking about, because it hasn’t got any runes on the blade, so it must be Narsil from before it was shattered.

48. In eighth grade i often took my physical science notes in runes.

49. And i have the Tolkien’s languages dictionary thing. But i never tried to learn any of them…it’s purely for reference.

50. I’ve never been clear whether i’m proud or ashamed of these things.

51. The only thing i’ve ever stolen is a pair of bowling shoes. They’re great for dancing.

52. I love love love swing dance

53. I don’t dance without a partner

54. When i was 13(ish), this 17(ish) guy mistook me for a boy (which happened all the time). He apologized, and said “it’s just that you remind me of myself when i was your age.” It was, inexplicably, one of the coolest things anyone had said to me, and i’ve never forgotten him.

55. I dated my first boyfriend because i had no idea what to do when he asked me out.

56. My second boyfriend was 3 years older and a foot and a half taller than me.

57. Sophomore year of college i had a huge crush on a girl who was way too cool for me (in that hippie/activist way). Among other things, she rode a unicycle around campus.

58. At the same time i had a crush on this boy who was too cool for me (in that hippie/theater kid way). Among other things, he had gorgeous red hair.

59. I ended up dating the boy.

60. My just-now-ex girlfriend is the only girl i’ve ever kissed.

61. I have a thing for nerds.

62. I’m a Sugarbutch Star.

63. I’ve never smoked pot (or done anything but drink).

64. But people always think i’m a pot-head.

65. When i was younger everyone thought i was stoned all the time, but really i was just divorced from reality.

66. When i was a little kid i basically only listened to the Beatles and my big brother’s music (Metallica, Beastie Boys, Aerosmith).

67. In middle school i branched out. To classic rock.

68. At 13, i bought Clandestine’s The Haunting, largely on the recommendation of the music store guy, and discovered music.

69. I have had my entire CD collection stolen twice.

70. The second time i had a computer and only lost about 3 cds worth of music. I’m still bitter, though.

71. My (at the time) girlfriend’s cat broke my ipod.

72. I’m a gemini. Whatever that means.

73. But i do think it’s really cute when girls know all that astrology stuff.

74. I was also born in the year of the boar. But i had to look that up.

75. My favorite photograph of myself is my 3rd grade school photo.

76. I still own a t-shirt i got in elementary school.

77. It is bigger than most of the t-shirts i wear now.

78. Kim Perrot is my hero.

79. I think that basketball and rugby are the best sports ever.

80. I have never played a sport that i’m good at.

81. And only one (baseball) that i didn’t enjoy playing.

82. I don’t watch TV.

83. There are plenty of TV shows that i like, but i’ve found there aren’t any that i miss.

84. I despise television news.

85. People talking on the radio kind of freaks me out. Actually not because of the idiots on talk shows. Just the sound of it bothers me, like even books on tape and NPR and stuff someone like myself ought to like.

86. Crowds make me panic sometimes, but it depends a great deal on the sort of crowd.

87. I still sleep with my teddy bear.

88. I wish my eyesight wasn’t so bad, but i don’t want it to be perfect because i love wearing glasses.

89. When i get a new cd i tend to listen to it for about a week straight before it moves on to my general pile of music.

90. I am a big fan of albums (versus songs). This is my biggest problem with music downloading. (well, other than that i’m a luddite and it’s just wierd to me =)

91. I once told my queer studies professor that i “went from being mistaken for a boy to being mistaken for a lesbian.” Oops. Bless his gay heart, he didn’t laugh at me or anything (though i’m sure he was thinking “just give it some time, sweetheart”).

92. I’ve never shaved my legs.

93. I love giving head.

94. That’s the only sex fact you’re getting, because even anonomously on the internet, talking about sex makes me kinda nervous.

95. Speaking of oral fixation, it’s been weeks since i’ve bitten my nails at all.  And years since i was bad about it.
96. My favorite beers are Shiner Bock, Dos Equis (lager and amber), Newcastle Brown, and Harp (and Guinness was stellar in ireland, but i got spoiled and i won’t drink it here)

97. My favorite whiskey by far is Bushmills, but i mostly drink Jim Beam, and sometimes Makers Mark if i want something fancy.

98. I love the way alcoholic drinks taste, more than i like drinking.

99. I’m a sucker for a short haired girl with a pretty smile.
100. This was really fucking difficult.

Lady Brett
“Foggy Blossom (Mechanical Bride)” – The Gourds

7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 7, 2007 7:20 pm

    yay! i have to admit i want more… more more more. :)

  2. August 7, 2007 11:35 pm

    i really enjoy these lists. you should expand upon this one and do the “100 things” entry.

  3. August 8, 2007 10:27 am

    oh, my. That sounds complicated =)
    but i’ll try, probably peicemeal.

  4. August 17, 2007 8:36 pm

    This was awesome. You did really well. I’ve read tons of these and they are usually pull your hair out boring. Your’s kept my interest and soared by. Thanks for taking me up on the request!

  5. August 17, 2007 8:48 pm

    how does a cat break an ipod? this was awesome!

  6. August 17, 2007 11:57 pm

    oh. hey, thanks guys. i’m glad y’all liked it.

    and, well, a cat has a wire fetish and pulls the ipod off the desk to it’s crashing-on-the-floor doom.


  1. “Don’t let’s talk.”

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