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“I’ll let you win, so i won’t lose”

June 19, 2007

So much for hiking this summer. I know it’s hot as hell, but i do like moving around, and i think i mentioned that it is now light long enough that we can go after work. In theory, anyway. The plan was to go twice during the week and once on the weekend, and it worked for about two weeks. The weekends are busy (this coming one has 7 things i want/need to go to, off the top of my head), but also my girl’s come home after 6:30 every day for the last week or two. She said this afternoon we’d go today, but she just called to say she’ll be another hour. And i was sewing a patch on her pants when she called. It’s not to say that i’m such a good girlfriend; i don’t think i am (especially now, when i’m mad at her), but the timing was…well, eh.

I just don’t know what to do about it. I’m trying to be supportive of her work, especially after our near-collapse. She does make me just melt when i see her. But i’m not sure what to do about this, because i don’t deal well with her being gone all day long. I told her i’d rather she just tell me she won’t be home till whenever instead of saying it’ll be earlier and then pushing it back, but no luck so far. To be fair, i don’t think it’d solve the problem, but it would help to not have expectations.

I know, partly, it’s my fault for being needy, but i have been doing a lot better – i’ve been occupying myself pretty well. I did a fair bit of garden work when i got home today, and i’ve had my projects (but i can’t finish my dress until i can get to the fabric store, which closes at 8 and isn’t on a bus line, so i kind of need Jake to give me a ride, but she hasn’t been home early enough…). I’m sure i could do better, though i’m not sure how to. But i need her to try too.

I hate to think it’s just not compatible (because i feel like i’m going crazy just thinking about not being together).

Lady Brett
“Darlin’ I’ll Do Anything You Say” – Junior Brown

p.s. Please excuse Netscape for sucking. It’s the only browser that will run wordpress at all on my comp here at home, and it doesn’t do it well. I’ll fix the formatting tomorrow at work, i guess. Cheers.

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