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“I’m a Scorpio – take me home!”

March 22, 2007

Sometimes i wish things were different. It seems silly when i give it much thought; it’s so unlikely.

Sometimes i wish i were single again. That’s it exactly – i wish i were single all over again. I don’t want to give up what i have, but i always wonder about the things i haven’t done. The thought comes up (in this confident, happy way) most often when i am out with Dog. Something about the lovely weather and walking (i love walking) and how he is the awesome (plus a total chick magnet) gives me the confidence to think it would be better.

I want to try out sleeping around. I want to be a bar fly (and a pool shark), and i want to flirt with people. I want to be a slut. Not forever, but i’d really like to play with it.

I suppose it’s a symptom of jumping straight into a serious relationship. She wasn’t my first date, but she’s my first girlfriend, and we’re past three years now. Every time i think about that, i get scared. But to be fair, whenever i don’t think about it i’m pretty damn happy.

So, sometimes i think i’d be a badass if i were single. I feel like i’d be really free to fuck around and goof off and be part of ‘the scene'(whatever that is).

The realist in me realizes that this place is way to small for that shit. Everyone in this damn city knows we’re dating, and inseperable.

The pessimist in me realizes i’d only be single if something terrible happened.

Sometimes i think about that – what would it take, and what would i do? What if i found out she was fucking someone else? Surely this time i’d have the balls to call it off. And who of my scant friends around here would i go crying to? I think that’s fucked up, and that i shouldn’t think that way.

Anyhow, the pessimist moreover figures that i’m too shy and sad for the above ideas. I’d probably stay drunk at home, and the poor dog would be lucky to get to go out to piss.

So, what to do?
The status quo is always a good option. And i’m just in this wierd mood that happens to me sometimes – so i oughtn’t be taken too seriously.

Lady Brett
“Drag King Bar” – Bitch and Animal

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